stuffandnonsense | May. 30th, 2018

May. 30th, 2018

first post:

( ignore things behind the cut. i only had time to finish one string. )

YOU DON'T HAVE MANY OPTIONS, SUPPLY-WISE, BUT THE CARAVAN CAN SPARE YOU 100LBS OF DRIED FISH AND THREE BARRELS OF FRESH WATER.

DO YOU:
STOP AND HUNT
CONTINUE

YOUR FISHING IS SUCCESSFUL. YOUR PARTY MANAGES TO BRING IN 200LBS OF FISH.

LOSE 2 DAYS CLEANING/SMOKING THEM.

THE WATER FROM THE RIVER HAS MADE YOUR PARTY VERY ILL.

LOSE 3 DAYS TO AMOEBIC DYSENTERY.

CONTINUE

YOU LOSE ONE DAY TO GATHERING, BUT MANAGE TO PULL IN 200LBS OF FODDER.

CONTINUE

YOU CONTINUE WEST. MORALE IS HIGH, FOOD STORES ARE GOOD, AND THE WEATHER IS FAIR. YOU MAKE GOOD TIME AND ARE PART WAY THROUGH NEBRASKA.

THE CLOUDS ON THE HORIZON ARE DARK. LOOKS LIKE A STORM IS COMING.

DO YOU:
STOP AND CAMP
CONTINUE WEST

YOU HAVE LOST A LOT OF TIME ON THE TRAIL. YOU'VE BARELY MADE IT INTO NEBRASKA WHEN A TERRIBLE STORM ROLLS IN.

DO YOU:
STOP AND CAMP
CONTINUE

YOU UNHITCH THE OXEN AND GET THE WAGONS STAKED DOWN AND REORGANIZED JUST IN TIME.

THE STORM ROLLS IN. THE SKY DARKENS, LIT ONLY BY LIGHTNING THAT IS QUICKLY FOLLOWED BY SHATTERING CRACKS OF THUNDER. THE RAIN FALLS SO FAST IT DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO SINK INTO THE PARCHED GROUND, FLOODING INCHES DEEP ACROSS THE PRAIRIE.

YOUR OXEN ARE ANNOYED, BUT YOUR PARTY IS SAFE AND RIDES OUT THE STORM. YOU ONLY LOSE ONE DAY TO WAIT FOR THE RAIN TO STOP AND THE WATER TO SOAK IN, BEFORE YOU CONTINUE.

THE SKY DARKENS. RAIN BEATS DOWN HARD ENOUGH TO LEAVE WELTS ON SKIN. LIGHTNING ILLUMINATES THE SKY, THUNDER CRACKS OVERHEAD. THE OXEN PANIC AND TRY TO RUN, BUT THE GROUND HAS MIRED THE WAGON WHEELS.

A FUNNEL FORMS IN THE SKY. WAGON STUCK FAST, ALL YOU CAN DO IS WATCH AS THE TORNADO RACES TOWARD YOU.

THERE IS NO TIME TO RUN BEFORE IT HITS.

THERE IS DEFINITELY NOT KANSAS ANYMORE. THERE ARE NO SINGING LITTLE PEOPLE, NOR ANY GOLDEN BRICK ROAD.

YOU ARE JUST DEAD.

YOU HAVE LOST THE GAME.

START OVER?
YES
NO

NEBRASKA IS FLAT AND BORING. YOU OCCASIONALLY PASS OTHER WAGON CONVOYS AND SHARE COMPANY AND NEWS. AT NIGHT, YOU CAN HEAR COYOTES AND WOLVES HOWLING IN THE DISTANCE.

SOME OF THE WAGONS HAVE DECIDED TO BAND TOGETHER TO FORM A LARGER COOPERATIVE CONVOY.

DO YOU:
JOIN THE CONVOY
CONTINUE ALONE

YOU JOIN A COOPERATIVE CONVOY. EVERY WAGON TAKES A TURN AT HUNTING AND FORAGING, SO WHILE YOU MAKE FEWER MILES PER DAY, YOU NO LONGER LOSE DAYS TO FIND FOOD.

AHEAD IS FORT LARAMIE, IN WYOMING.

DO YOU:
STOP AT THE FORT
CONTINUE

YOUR PARTY CHOOSES TO CONTINUE ON ALONE. SINCE YOU HAVEN'T HAD A BATH IN SEVERAL WEEKS, THIS IS PROBABLY A WISE CHOICE. BEING AROUND OTHERS MADE YOU MORE AWARE OF THE FUNK YOU'RE GIVING OFF.

DO YOU:
STOP TO WASH AND DO LAUNDRY
CONTINUE

YOU LOSE 2 DAYS TO WASH AND DRY ALL THE THINGS. INCLUDING YOURSELVES. AND THE OXEN. WHILE THE LAUNDRY IS DRYING, YOUR CHILDREN MANAGE TO FIND SOME VERY EARLY BLACKBERRIES.

MAINLY BY FALLING INTO THE THICKET.

WHATEVER. BLACKBERRIES. YOU MANAGE TO HARVEST 100LBS OF BERRIES.

CONTINUE

NOW THAT YOU'VE NOTICED IT, THE SMELL GROWS. IT BECOMES A STENCH. IT HAS ALMOST GAINED SENTIENCE. YOUR CHILDREN BEGIN TO SICKEN. YOUR SPOUSE HAS TAKEN TO SLEEPING BY THE OXEN, AND THEY'RE NO BED OF ROSES EITHER.

DO YOU:
STOP AND DO LAUNDRY
CONTINUE

YOU PUSH ON, PLUGGING YOUR NOSE WITH A WOODEN CLOTHESPIN.

AS IF THAT WOULD WORK. IT MEANS YOU HAVE TO BREATHE THROUGH YOUR MOUTH.

NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE STENCH. YOUR CHILDREN TAKE TURNS VOMITING OFF THE BACK OF THE WAGON, WEAKENING WITH EVERY MILE.

DO YOU:
STOP AND DO LAUNDRY
CONTINUE

THE STENCH HAS GAINED SENTIENCE AND A PALPABLE WEIGHT.

IT WAITS UNTIL YOUR PARTY HAS GONE TO SLEEP.

IT SETTLES OVER THEM LOVINGLY, LIKE A BLANKET.

A BLANKET MADE OF STINK.

THERE IS NO AIR IN THE STINK.

YOU HAVE ALL SMOTHERED IN YOUR OWN STENCH.

YOU LOSE THE GAME.

START OVER?
YES
NO

YOU CONTINUE WEST INTO WYOMING. WYOMING IS SLIGHTLY LESS FLAT AND BORING THAN NEBRASKA. THERE ARE OCCASIONAL HILLS TO BREAK UP THE MONOTONY OF THE HORIZON.

YOU CAN SEE FORT LARAMIE IN THE DISTANCE.

CONTINUE

YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT FORT LARAMIE. THE FORT WAS BEGUN BY FUR TRADERS AS FORT WILLIAM IN 1834 WHERE THE NORTH PLATTE AND LARAMIE RIVERS MEET. IN 1849, THE U.S. MILITARY PURCHASED THE FORT AND NAMED IT IN HONOR OF JACQUES LA RAMIE, A LOCAL FRENCH FUR TRAPPER.

DO YOU CARE?

NO. YOU DO NOT.

YOU ONLY CARE THAT YOU CAN RESUPPLY YOUR FRESH WATER AND TRADE FOR FOOD. YOU ARE ABLE TO PACK AN AWFUL LOT OF ZUCCHINI INTO YOUR WAGON.

THERE IS ANOTHER CARAVAN CO-OP HERE, AND THEY ENCOURAGE YOU TO JOIN THEM.

I ENCOURAGE YOU TO JOIN THEM.

DO YOU:
JOIN THEM
CONTINUE

I LIKE YOU. YOU MAKE GOOD CHOICES. YOUR CARAVAN MAKES GOOD TIME, MORALE IS HIGH, FOOD IS PLENTIFUL, THE WEATHER REMAINS FAIR WITH ONLY OCCASIONAL LIGHT RAIN.

YOUR CONVOY MAKES IT SAFELY ACROSS THE ASS END OF IDAHO. ALL THE WAY TO BAKER CITY.

THE CONVOY WANTS TO RESUPPLY. YOUR PARTY HAS ENOUGH PROVISIONS FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER TEN DAYS.

DO YOU:
RESUPPLY WITH THE CONVOY
CONTINUE

YOUR PRIZE FOR GOING IT ALONE IS: IDAHO.

LOTS OF IDAHO. YOU WOULD THINK IT WOULD BE THE LAND OF POTATOES, BUT NO. THERE ARE NO POTATOES YET BECAUSE THE RUSSET BURBANK POTATO WOULDN'T BE CREATED UNTIL 1872 AND THAT IS WHAT KICKED OFF IDAHO'S POTATO FARMING CRAZE.

YOU MAKE IT 10 DAYS BEFORE FOOD STORES BEGIN TO RUN OUT.

DO YOU:
FORAGE AND GATHER
STOP AND HUNT
CONTINUE

DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU THERE ARE NO POTATOES HERE? WHAT DID YOU EXPECT TO FIND?

ROCKS, IS WHAT YOU FIND.

GRASS.

ROCKS, GRASS, AND MORE IDAHO. SO MUCH IDAHO. YOU MAKE BAD CHOICES. YOU DESERVE IDAHO.

DO YOU:
STOP AND HUNT
CONTINUE

LOSE 1 WEEK. THE WEATHER HAS BEGUN TO CHANGE FROM BLISTERING HOT TO BRUTALLY COLD AT NIGHT. YOU STOP TO HUNT AND RESUPPLY YOUR WAGON. YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL, AND RETURN TO THE WAGON WITH ENOUGH FOOD FOR ANOTHER WEEK.

BUT NO POTATOES.

CONTINUE

YOU ATTEMPT TO FORGE ONWARD. YOUR PARTY HAS BEEN REDUCED TO PICKING THE GRAIN OUT OF THE OX POO. THAT BUYS YOU ANOTHER FEW, HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE DAYS.

EATING POO.

IN IDAHO.

DO YOU:
STOP AND HUNT
CONTINUE

DELIRIOUS WITH HUNGER, YOU ATTEMPT TO EAT ROCKS, THINKING THEY ARE POTATOES.

THERE ARE NO POTATOES.

YOU CANNOT EAT ROCKS. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, A TROLL?

YOU ARE NOT A TROLL.

YOU ARE A PARTY THAT HAS STARVED TO DEATH.

YOU LOSE THE GAME.

START OVER?
YES
NO

YOU MAKE IT ANOTHER WEEK, CROSSING IDAHO, LACKING POTATOES BECAUSE THERE ARE NO POTATOES IN IDAHO AT THIS TIME. NONE. NOT ONE. NARY A SINGLE POTATO.

TROUBLE STRIKES LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT.

EXACTLY LIKE A THIEF.

YOUR SUPPLIES HAVE BEEN STOLEN.

DO YOU:
STOP AND HUNT
CONTINUE

...REALLY?

DO YOU:
STOP AND HUNT
CONTINUE

....

.......

........ YOU HAVEN'T LEARNED A THING, HAVE YOU?

DO YOU:
STOP AND HUNT
CONTINUE

...YOU REALLY SHOULD KNOW BETTER BY NOW.

WITHOUT FOOD, CLOTHING, OR AMMUNITION, YOUR PARTY ALL DIE. DEAD. ALL OF THEM.

BECAUSE OF YOUR BAD CHOICES.

SERIOUSLY.

I WARNED YOU.

YOU LOSE THE GAME.

START OVER?
YES
NO

YOUR HUNT IS UNSUCCESSFUL. BECAUSE THE THIEVES STOLE YOUR AMMUNITION.

DO YOU:
ATTEMPT TO MAKE SNARES
CONTINUE

YOUR PARTY SET OUT SNARES. A LOT OF SNARES. SO MANY SNARES THAT IT WAKES YOU UP ALL NIGHT WHEN THE RABBITS SCREAM AROUND YOU.

TIRED BUT SUCCESSFUL, YOU GATHER YOUR FOOD SUPPLIES. YOU HAVE ABOUT ENOUGH FOR ANOTHER WEEK OF TRAVEL.

CONTINUE

YOU HAVE MADE IT TO FORT BOISE. THAT IS THE GOOD NEWS.

THE BAD NEWS IS THAT YOU ARE STILL IN IDAHO.

YOU ARE ABLE TO FILL YOUR WATER BARRELS.

THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE WILLING TO TRADE RABBIT FUR FOR SUPPLIES. KIND PEOPLE, WHO TAKE PITY ON YOUR PARTY.

DO YOU:
TRADE FOR SUPPLIES
CONTINUE

YOU SUCCESSFULLY TRADE YOUR UNCURED, STINKY RABBIT FURS FOR ENOUGH SUPPLIES TO LAST ANOTHER WEEK.

EVERYONE ASSURES YOU THAT YOU'LL MAKE BAKER CITY BEFORE THE WEEK IS OUT.

LOSE 1 DAY TO REST BEFORE YOU CONTINUE.

THE BAD NEWS: THE PEOPLE AT FORT BOISE EITHER LIED OR HAVE A TERRIBLE SENSE OF DISTANCE. A WEEK GOES BY, BAKER CITY IS NOWHERE IN SIGHT.
THE WORSE NEWS: YOU ARE STILL IN IDAHO.

SUPPLIES ARE RUNNING LOW.

DO YOU:
STOP TO HUNT
CONTINUE

YOUR HUNT IS SUCCESSFUL. YOU ARE ABLE TO BRING 100LBS OF FOOD BACK TO THE WAGON.

CONTINUE

GOOD NEWS: YOU HAVE FINALLY ESCAPED IDAHO.

YOU HAVE ARRIVED IN BAKER CITY.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY THIS IS ON THE MAP. BAKER CITY WASN'T EVEN PLATTED UNTIL 1865, BUT SURE, WHATEVER, LET'S HAVE BAKER CITY IN THIS GAME.

IT'S A CITY. IT PROBABLY SMELLS TERRIBLE.

IT IS ALSO VERY COLD HERE. IT IS IN A VALLEY BETWEEN TWO MOUNTAINS. IT ALMOST NEVER SEES THE SUN.

I HAVEN'T SEEN THE SUN IN DAYS.

ANYWAY. BAKER CITY.

DO YOU:
JOIN / STAY WITH A CARAVAN
REST AND RESUPPLY
CONTINUE

THIS WAS A GOOD CHOICE.

A VERY GOOD CHOICE.

THE CARAVAN MAKES LESS MILES PER DAY, BUT IS ABLE TO KEEP A STEADY, CONSTANT PACE. CAMARADERIE IS HIGH, PEOPLE SHARE SUPPLIES WHERE NEEDED, FOOD IS NOT PLENTIFUL BUT LEAN RATIONS ARE BETTER THAN NONE.

YOU ARE ABLE TO CROSS THE ENTIRETY OF OREGON WITHOUT INCIDENT.

YOU HAVE MADE IT TO OREGON CITY ALIVE.

AND YOU DID NOT MAKE ME WRITE 30 POSTS ABOUT OREGON.

YOU HAVE WON THE GAME.

HOORAY!

START OVER?
YES
NO

LOSE 1 WEEK TO REST AND RESUPPLY IN THE CITY. THE WEATHER HAS TURNED COLD AND RAINY.

YOUR PARTY HEADS OFF, AND MAKES IT 10 DAYS BEFORE THE SUPPLIES RUN LOW.

DO YOU:
STOP AND HUNT
CONTINUE

YOU STOP AND HUNT. YOU ARE PARTIALLY SUCCESSFUL AND SHOOT A BRACE OF GEESE.

GEESE ARE MONSTERS. GOOD RIDDANCE TO THE GEESE.

DO YOU:
HUNT AGAIN
FORAGE AND GATHER
CONTINUE

YOU HAVE BETTER LUCK THIS TIME, AND BRING DOWN A MOUNTAIN GOAT. YOU NOW HAVE ENOUGH FOOD TO MAKE IT ANOTHER 10 DAYS.

CONTINUE

YOU MAKE POOR CHOICES. THERE IS VERY LITTLE FORAGE IN THE COLD, WET MOUNTAIN RANGE.

DO YOU:
HUNT AGAIN
CONTINUE

YOU MAKE IT FOUR DAYS BEFORE THE FOOD RUNS OUT.

DO YOU:
HUNT AGAIN
CONTINUE

YOU HAVE FINALLY MADE IT TO OREGON CITY. EXHAUSTED, HUNGRY, WEAK, AND POOR, BUT YOU HAVE MADE IT ALIVE.

YOU HAVE WON THE GAME.

HOORAY!

START OVER?
YES
NO